Year That Trembled and Reel'd Beneath Me
by jhanjones2004
Summary: Harry gives his take on the events of "Order of the Phoenix", but what is this about Snape being his dad? AU Sevitus
1. Year That Trembled and Reel

(All characters belong to J.K. Rowling, I'm just borrowing them for a little while. Not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me. The title is borrowed from Walt Whitman.)

Harry Potter looked out at the group of young faces watching him anxiously. It had barely been a week since his defeat of Voldemort and here he was sitting in front of the whole school explaining what had happened. He hadn't expected this, but the Headmaster had requested it and after several rounds of heated debate between Harry's father and Dumbledore, the two had come to an agreement, so here Harry sat.

His speech about the actual defeat of Voldemort had gone over fairly well. Most of the students paid at least some attention to what he had said. There was a round of polite applauses before Harry agreed to take several questions from the audience. A number of hands shot up excitedly, each trying to be a little higher than the next. Choosing to ignore the reporters in the back of the room Harry pointed to a hand somewhere out in the middle on the left side.

A nervous looking Hufflepuff girl stood up, she couldn't have been more than a second year. Her blond hair came down to just under her chin framing her face. "Mr. Potter, sir, you talked about fighting alongside your dad during the final battle. You were talking about Professor Snape, but my older brother is in your year. He told me that you hated Professor Snape and that he hated you too. Can you tell us a little more about that?"

Harry let out a nervous laugh. "You can just call me Harry. What's your name kid?" He asked giving the girl a reassuring smile.

"Uhh… Bridgette Macmillan," she said the surprise showing on her face.

"Ernie's your big brother?" Harry asked hiding the mirth from his voice.

Bridgette nodded.

"I guess I should've expected that question." Harry said shifting on his stool and starching the back of his neck.

Harry cast a glace over his shoulder to his father.

Severus nodded. He had expected at least one of the students to ask. The story had only broken a few weeks earlier and it was still quite the buzz in the school rumor mills. Most of the students were too scared to ever approach the imposing Potions Master to ever ask the questions they had about it though.

Now however, they had Harry Potter, a far less intimidating figure despite the fact that he eliminated one of the most evil wizards of all time in front of them and willing to answer their questions for the first time since the news had come out. Harry had refused to talk about the news, even before Umbridge banned the students from discussing the matter.

Harry gave his father a nod in return before turning back to the group of students in front of him.

"If somebody had told me I would have graduated Hogwarts after defeating Voldemort, I probably wouldn't have been that shocked. However, if they had told me that my father would have been right by my side I would have laughed and suggested they see a Mind Healer at St. Mungo's. If they had gone on to tell me that my father was in fact not James Potter, but rather Severus Snape, I would have hexed them. There was no way that "the greasy git of the dungeons" could be my father. Then how did we get here? That's a good question, one without an easy answer."

He let out a sigh. "I guess it all starts with the dementor attack on me and my cousin last summer. You probably have all heard about how Umbridge sent a couple of dementors after me, but in case you haven't. It was early August and I was stuck at my cousin's house like every summer…" He began his tale his eyes glazing over as he became lost in memory.

--

August 1995

Harry sat alone on the only swing that Dudley and his gang had not yet managed to break yet. It was getting dark. Harry could hear loud, crude singing coming from nearby, the voice was distinctive. It belonged to his swine of a cousin Dudley Dursley. Kicking the ground under his feet one last time Harry rose from the last intact swing. He started his walk home; he had no desire to be late again, late being any time after Dudley made it home.

Harry hurried to catch up with his cousin once he was alone. "Hey Big D!" Harry called out.

Dudley turned.

"Oh," he grunted. "It's you."

"How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.

"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.

"Cool name," said Harry, grinning and falling into step beside his cousin. "But you'll always be Ickle Diddlykins to me."

"I said, SHUT IT!" said Dudley, whose ham-like hands had curled into fists.

"Don't the boys know that's what your mum calls you?"

"Shut your face."

"You didn't tell _her _to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums' can I use them then?"

Dudley said nothing. The effort of keeping himself from hitting Harry seemed to be demanding all his self-control.

"So, who've you been beating up tonight?" Harry asked, his grin fading. "Another ten-year-old? I know you did Mark Evans two nights ago—"

"He was asking for it," snarled Dudley.

"Oh yeah?"

"He cheeked me."

"Yeah? Did he say you looked like a pig that's been taught to talk on its hind legs? 'Cause that's not check, Dud, that's true…"

--

"Yeah, I was being a major league git. I deserved anything and everything that Dudley wanted to do to me. So, I was teasing my cousin pretty bad. But, that's when he mentioned my nightmares. I was having them almost every night after Cedric's death. I got upset and pulled my wand, the worst possible thing I could probably do when at the Dursleys. Then everything went dark and cold.

"I could feel the dementors before I could see them. Dudley went running right at them. Of course, he couldn't see them. I finally found my wand; it had been knocked out of my hand when my cousin punched me. Like I said I deserved anything he wanted to do to me. Though, for this I didn't. He thought I was responsible for making everything dark and all the feelings of happiness being sucked out of him.

"I yelled 'Expecto Patronum' and luckily a huge silver stag erupted from my wand. It chased the dementors away, but then of all people to show up was my batty old neighbor Mrs. Figg. This woman has a passion for cats. Every year when Dudley went to places for his birthday, I got to stay with Mrs. Figg looking at her photos of her cats. So, it was more than a bit surprising when she told me not put away my wand, just in case there might be more out there. That and she was threatening to kill Mundungus Fletcher.

"Anyway, we manage to get Dudley home. That wasn't an easy task. He had collapsed after the attack and had yet to recover. So I was more than half carrying a boy twice my size. My uncle instantly lost it after seeing Dudley vomiting on the doormat."

"Dudley was aware enough to tell my aunt and uncle that it was my fault. I had putted my wand, so of course it had to be my fault. It wasn't long after this that my whole life changed. After the letters that came. The first was from the Ministry, telling me that I was expelled. The other was from Mr. Weasley, telling me that the Headmaster had gone to the Ministry; I was to do no more magic and NOT to surrender my wand."

Harry let out a sigh. He hadn't thought much of that summer night since his trial. It all seemed so long ago, when in reality it was still under a year. How strangely time past at points. Sometimes it dragged, like in any History of Magic class, at other times it flew by, like most of this last year, since that night really. "As if all of this wasn't exciting enough, it wouldn't compare to what my aunt had to tell me."


	2. TopsyTurvy

"It was after I received the letters from the Ministry, the Order and Professor Dumbledore that my whole life got turned upside down."

--

Harry sat in the kitchen of his uncle's home trying to explain the evening's events and why his cousin was acting so strange.

"So, you put some crackpot spell on my son so he'd hear voices and believe he was – was doomed to misery, or something, did you?" Uncle Vernon said trying to wrap his head around the whole situation.

"How many times do I have to tell you" said Harry, temper and voice rising together. "_It wasn't me!_ It was a couple of dementors!"

"A couple of – what's this codswallop?"

"De-men-tors," said Harry slowly and clearly. "Two of them."

"And what the ruddy hell are dementors?"

"Dementors, they guard the wizard prison Azkaban." Petunia Dursley corrected her husband.

Harry spun to stare at his aunt, "How did you know that?" He demanded absolutely stunned by his aunt's statement.

"It must have been from that awful boy." She snapped.

"If you mean my dad, why don't you just say his name?" Harry yelled.

"I do mean your father, but not James Potter. No, I don't have to damage your image of my perfect sister, she did it to herself. It was that Snape boy, the one from Spinner's End. He was the one that told her, he's your father." Petunia said her eyes flashing dangerously.

Harry's face had gone ashen. Snape was his father, that couldn't be true. "You're lying, Snape isn't my dad. James Potter is." Harry mumbled his voice nothing but a whisper.

"You'd like to believe that. But no, I don't have to lie about this. My sister slept with that awful boy before she found out what he was, a Death Eater. When she discovered the truth she went running to James, for protection I expect. She used some sort of charm on you to cover up the truth. That old coot of a headmaster explained all of it in the letter he left with you when he left you on our doorstep."

"The only reason that we kept you all of these years is the ruddy blood wards." Petunia snarled.

Harry gave his aunt a confused look.

"Oh, I see your beloved headmaster didn't explain that to you. The reason that we never took you to an orphan or take you back every summer is because of those blasted wards. There is something about how your mother's sacrifice could be extended through residing with your own blood. Unfortunately for the both of us, the only kin you had other than your no good father was your uncle and I." Petunia explained, her words being spit like venom from an angry snake.

"I don't believe you," Harry managed out in a whisper.

"I you don't believe me than read it for yourself." Petunia said. She rose from the table and left the room. She returned several moments later a yellow piece of parchment in hand.

--

"I still didn't believe her, not even after I read the letter for myself. It was a couple of days before I could ask anybody I trusted about what I had learned. Several members of the Order came to rescue me from the Dursleys. It wasn't until we got to Headquarters that I first got to ask. That wasn't an easy conversation I can tell you." Harry explained rubbing the back of his neck nervously. "My godfather, Sirius Black, loved James like a brother. Having to tell me that James was in fact not my father was hard, he felt like he was betraying James. The fact that Professor Snape is my dad didn't help. The two of them did along very well when they were in school together."

It wasn't until several days after being brought to No. 12 Grimmauld that Harry got his chance to talk to Sirius by himself. The other kids had already headed upstairs to start cleaning yet another room leaving just Harry and Sirius alone in the kitchen.

--

"Sirius, can I ask you a question about my dad, about James?" Harry asked playing with a bit of egg that was on his plate.

"Sure kiddo, what do you want to know?" He asked cocking his head to one side in a very canine manner. It was obvious that something had been bothering the boy since he had arrived, but Sirius had attributed it to what he had been told on that first night. Now there was the strange phrasing of Harry's question and there was something odd in his tone as well. It was almost a combination of despair and hope rolled into one. It didn't make any sense.

"Aunt Petunia told me something on the night the dementors attacked. I didn't believe her, but then she showed me this letter. I still can't believe it though. I have to hear it from somebody." Harry said his voice breaking as he started to cry. Ashamed he set his head on the table hiding his face in his folded arms.

"Harry, I honestly don't know what you're talking about. What did your aunt tell you about James?" Sirius asked the confusion evident on his face.

Harry removed the letter from Dumbledore from his pocket and pushed it across the table towards his godfather.

The parchment was old, yellowed with age. Sirius recognized the slanting handwriting as Dumbledore's at once. He stared at the parchment for several long moments before picking it up and being to read. Sirius read through the letter several times before setting it back down on the table.

"So it's true? Snape's my dad?" Harry asked looking up at his godfather his head still resting on his arms.

Sirius nodded.

"Did you know?" Harry asked the pain in his voice was obvious.

Sirius nodded again. James had told him not long after he and Lily got married that she was pregnant and that the baby wasn't his, but in fact was Snape's.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry asked as sobs overtook him once again.

"I was," Sirius cleared his throat as tears threatened to spill out his own eyes. "I was trying to protect you. You had told me how miserable Snape had been to you at school. How could I very well tell you that he was your father?"

Before Harry had a chance to respond the door to the kitchen opened and in walked Molly Weasley. The tension in the room was palpable. Harry shot a menacing glare at his godfather. Hoping to relieve the discomfort between the two, or at least find out what was cause the problem Molly asked, "Harry dear, what's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mrs. Weasley," Harry snapped his eyes never leaving his godfather.

"If that's the case you should head up stairs the others are already in the drawing room cleaning." She said.

Harry got up from the table not bothering to say anything further to either to the adults.

"Sirius what's the matter with him?" Molly demanded turning to look at Black. She had never really cared for the man, but she knew he meant a great deal to Harry. To see the two at such odds made her uncomfortable.

"It's a family matter Molly." Sirius barked getting up from the table himself.

"A family matter, that boy is as good as a son to me," Molly said her hands finding their way to her hips.

"That maybe, but you aren't the boy's family. James and Lily left the boy to me to look after. I wouldn't betray his trust anymore than I already have. I need to go and feed Buckbeak." He said leaving the room. In their distress neither Harry nor Sirius remembered the letter that was still sitting on the table.

(Please tell me what you think. Thanks!)


	3. The Truth Will Out

Harry shifted slightly on his seat. The stool was becoming more uncomfortable by the

moment. He had been sitting for quite a while already and had barely begun this part of his story. He let out an inaudible sigh, he would have to deal with it for now. Though, he was not sure how much longer he could stand sitting.

Shifting again Harry began his story once more. "That night there was an Order meeting. Most everybody was there, Dumbledore, Lupin, Tonks, I think the only people missing were out of the country and that was Charlie Weasley and Hagrid. Unfortunately for me, Professor Snape was there. He had been the earliest to arrive hoping to speak to Professor Dumbledore and depart. He would get his chance to speak to Professor Dumbledore, but not until after the meeting. Since he was there though, Mrs. Weasley didn't see the harm in putting to work. He was setting everything out that was going to be needed that night when he saw the letter sitting on the table. From what he's told me, my mum's name on the parchment sparked his curiosity, so he picked up the letter to read it later."

He looked over his shoulder once again and offered his father a cheeky smile before turning back to the audience.

"By the way, if he ever found out I did something like that, he'd hex me into next week. The same thing goes for any of you, so don't go snooping around his stuff."

There was some light laughter and Harry let it die down before beginning to speak again. "Like I said, Dad had found the letter at headquarters, but hadn't had a chance to read it yet. As it turned out he wouldn't get the chance to for a couple of days cause he was busy doing stuff for Dumbledore. When he did get a chance to read it though, Dumbledore was probably wishing he had keep Dad busy for the next fifty years."

--

August 1996

The floo to the Headmaster's office sprung to life in a whoosh of green flames and black robes the Potions Master emerged from the fireplace a dangerous gleam in his eye.

"Good afternoon Severus, would you care for a lemon drop?" Albus asked kindly holding up a tray of sweets.

"I have a son!" Snape hissed ignoring the Headmaster's attempt at making small talk.

"Ah, I see you have found out the truth about our dear Harry." Dumbledore said setting the sweets back down on his desk.

"Yes, you meddling old coot! Why didn't you tell me the boy was mine?" Snape said slamming the letter on the desk.

The older man gestured to his companion to take a seat. Giving his mentor a steely glare Severus sat stiffly in one of the chairs sitting on the opposite side of the desk from Dumbledore.

"Lily wished that I keep the identity of the boy's heritage a secret. I had no reason to betray her wishes. Harry was loved and well taken care of by his parents. James seemed to relish the opportunity to father a child even if it was not his. One of Lily's greatest fears that James would be unwilling to accept the child, but those fears were quenched the moment Harry took his first breaths." Dumbledore explained.

His eye momentarily left Severus' to select a lemon drop from the dish on his desk. A look of distain appeared on Severus' face; though Dumbledore was unsure as to what it was directed at the candies, himself, or just the situation itself. Selecting a candy and popping it into his mouth the two sat in an uncomfortable silence for a moment.

After several moments, the gravity of the Headmaster's words had fully sunken it and Severus felt himself compelled to take ask another question. "Fine then, I could understand when Lily was alive, but not any longer."

"Severus, can you truthfully tell me that you would have been able to rear an infant. An infant that you had no reason to believe was yours and resembled your least favorite schoolmate. At the time, I was not inclined to believe you were." The older man said, his crystal blue gaze meeting onyx.

"We shall never know. And why have you said nothing of this matter in the last five years the boy has been in my presence?" The Potions Master demanded quirking an eyebrow.

"My dear boy, why do you think I have been trying to convince you to look past his appearance and see Harry for who he truly is?" The Headmaster asked.

Severus made a sound of acknowledgment, but said nothing more about it. Instead, he asked, "What are your plans for the boy?" Severus said his voice becoming much more detached.

"Sadly, there is no changing the path Harry is currently headed. He must confront Tom and one of them shall perish in this battle. The best thing we can to for him is to ensure that he is well trained as possible for the final confrontation."

"I see," Severus said. "What part do you plan to have me play in this scheme, old man?"

"Scheme, Severus, really is that what you think of this?"

"With all of your plotting and planning, using people as if they were mere pawns on a chest board, yes, I believe that scheme would be an accurate way of describing your actions. Now, what is the part I am to play?"

"My dear Severus, I am saddened to find that it how you feel about this affair." Dumbledore sat back in his chair. "As for what part you are to play, I am unable to tell you what that is to be. You must choose that for yourself Severus. Let your heart guide you."

Severus let out a jaded scoff. "What exactly is my heart supposed to guide me to Albus?"

The corner of the Headmaster's mouth tweaked upward ever so slightly. "I think you will know it when you see it Severus."

A chime from an ancient grandfather clock broke the silence between the two wizards. Double checking the time on his pocket watch Dumbledore let out a sigh. "Unfortunately my boy, we must continue this discussion at another time. I have a meeting with the Minister. I believe he may have found us a Defense Against the Dark Arts professor."


	4. How It All Began

"Dad actually didn't tell me about that meeting. It was the Headmaster, who told me after I got back from the Ministry… the night that I…Sorry," Harry choked out. "So, where was I?"

Severus listened to his son's description of the events of the night he confronted the Headmaster about the truth of Harry heritage. Severus let his mind drift back to how this amazing boy even came to be. He remembered the day Lily had come to see him like it was yesterday.

--

October 1979

Severus groaned as the pounding on the front door continued. Pulling the pillow off his head he made his way towards the door, muttering under his breathe a mixed stream of curses and foul names about whoever was standing on the other side of the door. When he reached the door all thoughts of what the best hex to use were lost. There stood, his onetime best friend, his only real friend, Lily Evans. No, Lily Potter, Severus corrected himself mentally.

The two hadn't spoken since the night outside of Gryffindor Tower. Severus had regretted his actions of that afternoon as soon as the words had left his mouth. He wished he would have been able to take them back with all his heart. He waited outside the Tower for hours so he could apologize to Lily. But, after being shot down so viciously outside, Severus had not been able to bring himself to try and offer another olive branch.

"Sev, may I come in?" Lily asked, her voice was rough, as if she had been crying recently.

Severus said nothing, but moved aside letting her pass.

Sitting herself on the ratty couch Severus had just abandoned Lily took in the sitting room. It wasn't much different than the last time she had visited Spinner's End. The furniture was the same old beaten set. There still were the many books lining the room as well. What was new was the fine layer of dust covering all of these. Eileen Snape had always kept the house in immaculate condition, probably in hopes of giving her drunken husband, Tobias less of a reason to attack, not that he ever needed a reason.

Severus hadn't changed much either. His hair was still long and greasy. He had grown several inches since then, but he had yet to fill out.

"Are you going to sit down Sev, or just stand at the door gapping?" Lily snapped.

"What are you doing her Lily?" Severus asked taking a seat across from his long lost friend.

"I came to see you." She said barely able to stop herself from rolling her eyes.

"Why? We haven't spoken since the night outside of the Tower." Severus said slightly confused. In the almost five years since that incident there had not been a word exchanged between the two. Now Lily sat on his couch.

"I wanted to see you… to apologize for the way I treated you that night. I was hurt and angry, Severus." Lily said, her face dropping so she was speaking to her shoes.

Severus stared at the young woman flabbergasted. This was not the Lily Evans he knew. Lily looked people in the eye when she spoke to them.

"Lily, look at me." Severus said sitting across from her.

Lily looked up; tears had collected in the corner of her eyes, threatening to fall at any moment.

"I understand Lily. I was hurt as well. You made me look like even more of a fool." Severus tucked a strand of his unwashed hair behind his right ear.

"Well, I'm sorry Sev. I'm sorry I was trying to stand up for my best friend." Lily snapped back, a tear escaping her eye.

"I know." The young wizard returned tersely. He was too tired to have this discussion right now. He had only gotten a few hours of sleep in the last several days. He was emotional exhausted as well, having spent most of the previous night in the company of the Dark Lord. "I tried to apologize." Severus said, his voice loosing much of its previous heat, though none of the hurt.

"I know you did. I should have listened to you, but it was too fresh. My best friend of seven years had just called me _that_ foul word. The friend that had told me it didn't matter if I was Muggleborn." Lily said brushing away another tear as it rolled down her pale cheek.

"It doesn't matter to me Lily." Severus said his own voice becoming rough with emotion.

"But it does! Why else would you call everybody else of my birth that foul name?"

"It doesn't matter for _you_. It never affected the way I felt about _you_." Severus said blinking rapidly trying to avoid the tears from falling.

"Why? What's so special about me?"

"I – I love you Lily. I always have." Severus said in little more than a whisper.

"Oh Sev," Lily said throwing her arms around his neck and burying her face in his shoulder.

Severus regained his balance much quicker than he was able to retrieve his wits. He had never been very good with people and this situation was probably one of the most uncomfortable he had ever been in. He awkwardly began to pat her back trying to provide some sort of comfort. However, the position was rather uncomfortable. Without thinking Severus pulled the petit redhead into his lap. Lily let the tears fall freely from her eyes. She continued to cry for what seemed like hours to Severus, but really could not have been more than a half an hour or so.

When Lily finally stopped crying Severus risked shifting ever so slightly. He figured that she had cried herself into exhaustion, falling asleep on his shoulder. He was startled to see her emerald eyes staring back at him.

With some effort Severus cleared his throat before he chanced speaking. "Lily, you shouldn't be here. Not like this, I'm not the person you knew all those years ago. You're married to… Potter."

A new wave of tears overtook Lily at the mention of her husband's name.

Severus had not expected such a reaction. As far as he knew Lily and Potter were happily married.

"Lily, what's wrong?" Severus asked gently pushing away a strand of auburn hair that had fallen into her eyes.

Pain shown plainly through the beautiful emeralds, "James is d… they think James is dead." Lily chocked out before burying her face into his shoulder once more.

"Lily, I'm sorry," Severus said tightening his grip around the young woman in his lap.

"Are you?" Came a muffled reply, Severus could almost feel her eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.

"I never liked Potter, but I never wished to see you hurt." Severus said brushing another strand of auburn locks away from her face.

"Sev, I've missed you so much!" Lily exclaimed as she tightened her grip around the willowy wizard once more.

Lily spent the next week and half living at Spinner's End. The two friends spent much of their time catching up on what had happened in the other's life since the end of fifth year and more specifically since leaving school. Severus was always guarded about what he said. He had no desire for Lily to discover he had actually become a Death Eater.

Lily talked about her family. Her parents still lived in house she had grown up in, only a short distance away from where they presently sat. Petunia had been married the previous year to a bore of a man. He seemed to make her happy though, and that was all Lily cared about. Severus had a hard time not showing his contempt when Lily mentioned her older sister.

Severus too talked about his family, though none of the news was as happy as Lily's. Both of his parents had died within the last year, his father from complications from alcohol, his mother in a pedestrian versus car hit-and-run. Severus had never cared much for his father. He was an abusive, ill tempered bastard. He had cared more for his mother, though that did not take much, but neither of their deaths were troubling him to a great extent.

Severus learned that Lily had taken an apprenticeship with Committee on Experimental Charms. He had also learned about the circumstances in which James Potter was believed to have been killed.

Potter had gone out on a mission with Caradoc Dearborn neither had been seen for over a week by the time Lily had come to see Severus. Lily had spent the first several days of James absence at their home waiting diligently. The remaining Marauders had been there constantly trying to comfort Lily, but it all became too much. The next thing she knew was on Severus' doorstep.

Severus had listed to her tale patiently, doing little more than nodding or grunting to show he was still paying attention. He could sense that Lily just needed someone to vent to and he was more than willing to play that part.

After such a grueling experience Severus began to think Lily needed something to lift her spirits. As it was Halloween he came up with the brilliant idea of throwing them a small feast. With a little encouragement Lily made her way to her parents' home giving Severus free roam to make the preparations.

Since Lily had been staying over Severus had not cooked. Lily had taken it upon herself to prepare all the meals, arguing it was the least she could do to repay his hospitality.

When Lily came back she was greeted by the delicious smells coming from the kitchen. Severus had dressed for the occasion, well, sort of. He had broken from his customary all consuming black robes. Instead he wore a white dress shirt with the collar open with black trousers and a fitting black vest. His long hair was well washed and pulled pack into a ponytail.

"This smells great Sev." Lily said taking a seat in the dining room.

"Happy Halloween Lily, and thank you," Severus said placing the last dish on the table.

"I didn't know you cooked." She said taking in the dishes speared across the table.

"I normally do much simpler fair for myself, but I wished to present you with something to lift your spirits. I did not think takeaway fish and chips would be able to achieve such a feat. Severus explained pouring each of them a generous measure of red wine.

They enjoyed a dinner of prime rib, roasted vegetables, mash potatoes and gravy, with a rich chocolate pudding for desert. The conversation was pleasant mostly about what was going on with Lily's family. As the night wore on and more alcohol was consumed things began to fog.

The next thing Severus remembered was waking the next morning, Lily's head resting on his naked chest.

Severus held his breath as he felt the head begin to shift. Lily let out a groan as she snuggled closer into him only to shot up wide awake.

"Oh God," she cried as she jumped out of the bed and began a frantic search for her discarded clothing.

"Lily," Severus started to say, but stopped at Lily's steely glare.

"No Severus, we did something wrong! My husband hasn't been gone for three weeks and I'm sleeping with another man!" She raged, pulling her blouse over her head. "What kind of person does that make me?" She demanded, but she did not wait for an answer. Instead she threw down a pinch of Floo power and was gone.


	5. Summer Comes to an End

Severus let out an inaudible groan at the memory. To this day Severus was disgusted with his actions that night. Though everything that had happened was consensual, Severus knew he had taken advantage of Lily. She had been vulnerable, devastated with the potential loss of her husband and intoxicated.

Severus had thrown himself deeper into the fold of the Dark Lord after that fateful night, fueled by the fires of self-hatred. It was only after he learned that the prophecy he related to his master could in fact pertain to his beloved Lily did he regret his continued involvement with the Dark Lord. He never once considered the fact that the child she carried could be his. He had gone to the Headmaster and become a spy for the Order of the Phoenix, a role he played until just a few short weeks ago.

But this was neither the time nor the place to be traveling down the road of self reflection, Severus reminded himself. There would be time for that in the future. The same was true for the inevitable feelings of guilt that would accompany it. Hopefully those feelings of guilt would be reduced as Severus tried to make up for the time he had lost with his son. But that was something only time could tell.

Now he needed to listen to his son's tale. There still was much he did not know about the boy, even though he had gotten to know his son quite a bit better during the past few months. Severus was familiar with the happenings of the past year, but much could be learned from the way Harry recounted the events.

"Now for the next several weeks we didn't see Dad." Harry continued speaking, completely unaware of his father's musings. "He seemed to be avoiding Headquarters whenever possible. Remus told me that Dad was actually only showing up to Order meetings when Dumbledore directly ordered him to be there. When he did show up, he was Flooing directly into the kitchen, just before the meeting was to begin and departing as soon as it ended. We didn't mind it at all. I had no desire to see 'the greasy git', even if people said he was my father."

"We spent the next week working hard on cleaning up the house. It wasn't until the night before the trial that I thought to ask what had happened to Dumbledore's letter. I asked Sirius, but he grumbled something about needing to be more responsible with my things. He told me the last time he had seen it, it was on the kitchen table."

"I went on to ask Mrs. Weasley and any other member of the Order if they had seen it. Most just told me no and moved on. Moody actually accused me of trying to find out more information about what was being guarded at the Ministry and threatened to hex me to kingdom come if he caught me looking about like that again. So, obviously I didn't find the letter."

"Now, most of you, if not all know what happened with my trial. For those of you have been living under a rock for the last year, I'll give you a quick recap. I was charged for breaking the Decree of the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery for using the Patronus Charm to protect my cousin Dudley and myself from a couple of dementors. I got off because I was lucky enough that my batty old neighbor Ms. Figg was a squib and saw them. Otherwise, the Wizengamont might not have believed me."

"It also didn't hurt that they were so impressed a fifteen year old could produce a full bodied Patornus." Harry added chuckling lightly.

"After the trial the rest of the month rushed by, we spent most of the time cleaning. We threw out a lot of the Black family things, but Kreacher the family's crazy, old house elf wouldn't let this one necklace go. It was an ugly gold locket that none of us could manage to open. Finally, after the fourth time trying to throw it away Sirius demanded to know what was so special about this one necklace."

"Kreacher told us that Master Regulus had always been a fan of the Dark Lord. How when Regulus had turned sixteen he joined the Death Eaters. None of this was a surprise to Sirius. In fact, he was making cutting remarks about his brother's intelligence the entire time. What Sirius didn't know was the last part of the story. A year after joining the Death Eaters the Dark Lord requested the services of a house elf. Regulus had offered the Dark Lord the use of Kreacher. Keacher had gone with the Dark Lord. They had gone to a cave by the sea and taken a boat across a black lake. The Dark Lord had made Kreacher drink the potion in a stone basin that sat on top of a podium on an island in the middle of this lake. The Dark Lord had left him. The potion had hurt Kreacher, made him see terrible things. The Dark Lord had left him there to die, but he was under orders from Regulus to come home so he had. A while later Regulus had asked Kreacher to take him where the Dark Lord had gone. Regulus took the boat across the lake with Kreacher. He made Kreacher force him to drink the potion and then go home with the necklace. He told Kreacher to destroy it, but no matter how hard the house elf had tried he hadn't been able to destroy it."

"Sirius didn't really know what Kreacher meant, but he thought that Dumbledore would be the best person to talk to. As is turned out, that wouldn't be the first Horcrux that the Headmaster got to destroy, or the last."

"I'll talk more about that later. What I will tell you now, is that the Headmaster had already figured out Voldemort had created a number of Horcruxes. He hadn't told anybody in the Order, well with the exception of Dad, like I said more about that later."

"The send off from King's Cross was normal. That's if you think being escorted by multiple Aurors and half a dozen other witches and wizards all on alert for someone trying to kill you is normal. Or having a fugitive disguised among you, just so he can stretch his legs, get some fresh air, and see his godson off to school for the first time. Yeah, it was even a little crazy for me. But at the time I was happy that Sirius was there, though I think we all regretted it later. Mr. Malfoy recognized Sirius's disguise, so he was even more confined to the Grimmauld Place than he had been."

"Even the train ride was weird. Everyone who had been reading the paper over the summer thought that I was either a liar, or an absolute nutter. Add to the fact for the first time in my life Ron wasn't there with me, since he had to do patrols of corridors as part of his prefect duties. So, I ended up sitting with Ginny, Neville and somebody I hadn't met before, Luna Lovegood."

"If I ever was looking forward to the year at Hogwarts it was this year. But that all changed, before we even had a chance to finish our pudding during the opening feast."

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Hope you enjoy this chapter. I'll try and get the next chapter out faster, but no promises. Don't forget to let me know what you're thinking. Reviews make me want to keep going. Thanks much!  
Judith


	6. Tale of the Toad

"I know all the students remember Professor Umbridge's introduction, but the reporters sitting in the back of the room I'll give a little more detail about what happened."

"Everything about the feast this year was odd. The Sorting Hat's song was the first thing that we noticed to be off. Normally, the Hat sings about the different qualities of the different Houses and why no one is better than the next. They each have a kind of person that fits in and what those kinds of people are. This year, however, it decided it was going to branch out a bit. Instead of singing about the different qualities, it chose to give us a warning. It told us about how the founders had all been really great friends by the House started fighting one another and Slytherin actually leaving the school. It told us that we need to unite when we were facing an external threat. It was a little weird to say the least."

"The next part was even weirder. Professor Dumbledore had introduced the new professors, Umbridge and Grubbly-Plank. That's normal, sort of. Hagrid was missing, so that was why Grubbly-Plank was there. The weirder thing was Umbridge interrupting Dumbledore when he was giving out the announcements about Quidditch tryouts. We had never had anyone interrupt the Headmaster like that. But here was this brand new professor; she obviously had no clue as to how things worked at Hogwarts."

"Umbridge went on to give this long winded speech that boiled down to the Ministry was going to be interfering at Hogwarts this year. After my run it with them this summer, that was probably the last thing that I wanted, or needed to hear."

"If that introduction wasn't bad enough, there was the first day of class. Day already wasn't going all that well. We had already been assigned a massive amount of homework. Professor Snape had tried to trip us up with really difficult stuff coming right off a two month break. It was just not good."

"Things went even further downhill when we get to Umbridge's class. She is still talking to us like we're five year olds. She to copy some stuff down from the board, but that only get us to start asking questions. See, there was nothing on the board about using magic, just studying theory and how to recognize acceptable times to use it. This isn't what students in their OWL year want to hear. We asked about that. Of course we were told that was no reason that we should need to study the material in a practical manner. That we should just read the material well and all would be fine. This was enough to get several of my classmates annoyed."

"When we asked about the class preparing us for the real world, we got a really great response. School isn't the real world and really who out there would be out there waiting to attack children. This wasn't the smartest thing to say to me. It had only been a few months since I had faced Voldemort in the graveyard and had meet him two occasions before that, that's without the night he called my parents by the way."

"Now, with all that Umbridge was saying, I got upset. I admit it. She called me a liar to my face. I had enough and told her she was a liar. I got detention and sent to see Professor McGonagall.

Harry chuckled slightly. "I was lucky that my dad and I weren't acknowledging our relationship at that time because if we were, I'd probably still be gutting frogs for it, even if it was Umbridge that I smarted off to. Dad doesn't accept any excuses for that sort of disrespect."

Harry turned back to look the Deputy Headmistress offering her a warm small. The older witch let her lips twitch slightly upward in return, before nodding her head to Harry to continue with his story.

"Professor McGonagall was much cooler about the whole thing than I would have expected. She told me to be careful and gave me a couple of biscuits. However, nice it was to see Professor McGonagall as something other than her incredibly strict Transfiguration professor self, it was not worth the detention I got in exchange for it."

"I've been set to write lines in the past. It was never a big deal. Your hand cramps after a while, but you solider through it and by the time that it really starts to hurt, I mean _really_ starts to hurt you'll be done for the night. Your arm will be killing you in the morning but, you're done for the night and that's all that matters at the time. So, why am I talking about writing lines?"

"That was the task I had in detention that night and all the other detentions I had with Umbridge that year and that was quite a few. Like I said, I could normally do lines no problem. The thing with Umbridge was that she used a blood quill."

"I've had a lot of painful things happen to me in my past. I was thrown into the cabinet under the stairs by my uncle, beaten up by my cousin Dudley on a regular basis, and half starved when living with my family. When I got to Hogwarts I had to regrow all the bones in one of my arms, deal with a bite from a giant spider, and been possessed Voldemort. None of these however had anything on Professor Umbridge's quill."

Harry rubbed unconsciously at the scars that adorned the back of his hand. The thin white lines still stood out in sharp contrast to the slightly tanned flesh. "It was painful when the words were being cut into my hand. The bigger pain was actually afterward. I'll have the scars for a long time, if not the rest of my life. It's a monument to the fact that people refused to believe what I was saying about Voldemort coming back was true. That was hard, I knew the truth and I kept saying it over and over again, from the night Cedric died to the night I killed him. It was only on that last night however, that the Ministry believed what I had to say."

"So, I had a rough time with those detentions, but wouldn't be the only thing I would have a hard time with."

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